Comments on a recent plot of mine.

[jordan duncan]

Okay. I have been thinking about this one for like a year now. But I want to have some public input before I start writing. Suggestions and constructive critisism encouraged.
Russia- 1990's
A unit of Russian solidiers sent to a brutal conflict over land,is killed except for two recruits who survive but barely in an ambush while they are trying to retrieve the bodies of formerly captured Russians for return to Russia.
Two of the sodiers survive but severly wounded. Alex, a young recruit who signed up to escape the poor economic situation in Russia, and didn't know what exacltly he signed up for, and another draftee (Let's call him Vlad for now, a really generic cliche Russian name for a film), who is a heavy drug user and usually brutal towards civilians.
The two are seized in the ambush and held by rebel forces. After Vlad is killed in a ransom demand, Alex realizes that he made many mistakes and regrets ever signing up.
After seeing that he will never escape in his condition, he begins to have discussions with his captors and they often engage in political debates.
But one day a miscalculated Russian offensive destroys the house where he is being held, and he is killed in the bombing.
This is followed by both sides denying his capture, and him being left among rotting bodies in the Russian snow.
- I got this from studying about the current wars in Russia and seeing how both sides seem to be pretty brutal, and try to convey this in the film.
What do you people think?
Suggestions and comments please.

[Kev Owens]

Well, it's certainly an idea.

No point trying to comment on it yet though- I'd withhold any views until you'd written at least a treatment as I don't see how comments or criticisms can help you at the moment.

[dmccoy]

Sounds Okay.
I've all ways liked russian topic films.
Good and sarcastic too.

[andyblaa]

I like the setting and theme etc. (I've just watched The Pianist, although I realise this has a quite different setting) but I have a few problems with your structure.

I don't think it's a good idea to kill you protagonist 3 quarters of the way thorugh the movie. That isn't conducive to keeping your audience interested. Maybe if you told the story out of order you could some how end up with your protag still alive at the end or at least dying right at the end.

I think to keep the interest you need might need to have one of his captors as a sympathetic character so the audience stays interested after Alex dies.

You'll also need to make sure the conversations are incredibly interesting for the audience. It's very difficult to keep the audience hooked during these type of scenes.

It might also be difficult to go from what I'm imagining as a quite action'y start when they sign up and get captured etc. to the internal debating scenes with the hostage and his captors. Like I mentioned earlier, changing the structure to non-linear might help you solve this problem aswell.

Andy

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ February 05, 2004 06:37 AM: Message edited by: andyblaa ]</font>

[jordan duncan]

Actually, there's been some changes.
Vlad dies about in the middle, due to the ransom not being met. I won't give away the end because the film isn't done yet.
How would you recomend keeping the audience intersted? I always have a problem with keeping dialogue interesting. I have some ideas though.
Vladimir dying halfway through is something to burden Alex, because Vladimir was someone he knew, and now he is left to uncertainty at the hands of his captors.

[jordan duncan]

Maybe this will help you understand better. The structure goes like so:

first five minutes: One group of soldiers are ambushed, Alex, Vlad and their group are introduced, they are sent in to get the troops.(Change:at this point they think the troops are still alive.)They find the troops dead.
Plot Point One: The troops are ambushed, Alex and Vlad are wounded and captured.
ACT TWO:
Alex and Vlad wake up in their captors basement, They are threatened and beaten. This goes on for a few minutes. Alex and one of the captors begin talking about why they are there.
Plot Point Two: Vlad is killed due to ransom not being met, Captor Two threatens to kill Alex next.
Second part of act two.About 10 minutes long.Alex is angry and scared by seeing his friend Vlad being killed.
Alex and Captor One start to debate the politics of both of their countries, Captor one becomes sympathetic to Alex but is still threatening to kill him for ransom. Alex and Captor One continue to discuss thier beliefs. Captor Two Nearly kills Alex, Captor One desides to stop him for now. Alex and Captor one start to realize that they were both in this war for pretty much the same reasons.
PLOT PAINT THREE: ACT THREE:
Major Russian offensive begins in the area, house is bombed and Alex is wounded, begins to escape but gets stuck in the crossfire because of his wounds. Alex witnesses great atrocities by both armies while he lies in the street wounded. Alex sees Captor One killed in the street.
Alex is shot by a sniper in the street.
THE END